'Kayode Bisiriyu's Notes

I am not a writer but a thinker. #Randomnotes



My ship is stranded in the middle of the Atlantic; with no crew I could call my own.

Jumping ship means going for a swim in the deep blue, for what exactly? Perhaps, if I could speak shark it would have been different. Even If I could, from experience there is always one rogue member of the family whose level of tolerance is fixed at zero and I am not about to find out. In a way, it is a win-win, no intrusion-no devouring! It might be good to stress that we are still not sure of how we got here.

Before we departed, we set our minds to finding something beyond anyone could imagine. We were blank, no idea whatsoever. All we had was faith and our soon to be heard stories which will change us and most importantly the world. No kidding. After all, we are the artisans of our fates and of several others.

In-between the thousand breadth of the ocean, the billion sea inhabitants, there has to be something. Not anything, but that which we never knew, greater and magical. We named the voyage SERENDIPITY and we dreamt that our lives will forever be changed.


I Hope You Find Your Heartbeat

Not everyone would live but everyone will die! There have been times that I wondered what goes through people’s mind when they get the chance to “witness” their last breath. Do they suddenly get those “my life in summary flashes”? (Oh! I’ve been there. Yo! The flashes are real) Do they pray? or do some just say fuck it, I’ve lived! Does living mean not having regrets at that moment or just having the courage to accept?  Eiish! Such courage would definitely be a product of spirituality. So many questions but for the sake of retaining the little sanity of the mind, digging deeper is a no no.

While connecting the dots of all my experiences; the YOLO moments, few reads, travel… Undeniably, there are few things people leave behind; in fact, there are three. Children (for those who had), creations and the impact of actions.

“When we take a journey into the past and reflect on those actions that served no higher purpose other than maximizing wealth and pleasure, you would agree that they always seem painfully small and insignificant. Most people know this, and either explicitly or intuitively want to be part of a collective purpose that is larger than their own pleasure, that gives meaning to their lives and passage of time.”

Most of us struggle to stay on course with our purpose, to define who we are, to summon the courage to weaken or break walls, to be more than those we admire, to show the Xs’ and bosses that we are better on our own, to laugh when our problems take the most of us, to fight when there seems to be no fight left in us, to love when we’ve been let down so many times. Take two steps backwards (literally) to remind yourself that the struggle is part of the process and you have to trust it. And your ability to define a noble purpose and to give meaning to people’s effort will become your heartbeat.
To an organization like Microsoft, ”empowering every person and organization on the planet to achieve more” is beyond thoughts put into words, rather its life and heartbeat.

I hope you find your heartbeat.


Who Needs New Year Resolutions?

‘Never been a believer of the resolution thing. Hollup… back up a little bit and try saying shitty resolution. Ahh… I feel so light. You don’t? It does not matter, this is about me.


I mean, who am I kidding? I always find myself going back to the things I told myself I would not do, maybe I need to learn self-control or some things are just meant to be. Fate comes to mind. There has never been a new year resolution and never will.

Reflection is what I identify with. Do something, reflect on the outcomes, take the lessons out of it and set goals with plans of action. I think that was how learning from experience came about. It has to be. A typical resolution would be to stop smoking in the New Year. Whilst it is a reasonable one, it makes no sense without a plan of action. Try, I will stop smoking in the New Year and I will start by cutting the numbers of sticks by 25% or 50% over the next 6 months and I will celebrate milestones every month until the mission is accomplished.

Resolution is to know you deserve to be punched in the face by a mantis shrimp but you would rather put out a notice for cuddling (Wimp!). Reflection on the other hand is deleting words you type every time you mistype a letter. If you are an earthling, I do not expect you to understand. It is so typical of humans.

I hope with these no/few points of mine I have been able to convince you and not confuse you to invest your time in reflection, at least twice a week for 15 minutes (please feel free to swap least with most). It also helps to keep a journal. If you are someone of no talent like the ‘typer’ of these words, putting your thoughts in writing might just be the bank you sometimes fantasize about breaking.

.^. And they both lived happily ever after .^.

You need to expand the scope of your imaginations, build castles in air, break into the president’s apartment and steal a sock (remember, in your head), undress the hostess (to you bloody perverts, do nothing, I repeat do nothing except dressing her back up), run into your ex (…). If you have a dream so big that it scares the shit out of you (there’s no point if your supposed dream is not beyond the alter), live it, make a million selling crap, put linda ikeji’s blog out of business.

Am I Qualified

   Am I photo1qualified to think of you

Am I qualified to buy you flowers just because its wednesday

Am I qualified to be the first to call you and last to wish you a good night rest

Am I qualified to laugh with you

Am I qualified to ask you how crazy your day was

Am I qualified to hold your hands while we walk down the street laughing like we just won a lottery ticket

Am I qualified to kiss you in the midst of a hundred million people

Am I qualified to get you angry and be forgiven

Am I qualified to get to know your friends while your friends get to know mine

Am I qualified to get lost while I look into your eyes

Am I qualified to know your likes and dislikes

Am I qualified to be the first you call whenever you are having a bad day or the best of days

Am I qualified to be your 5 while you are my 6

Am I qualified to be called your partner

Am I qualified to be loved by you

Am I qualified to make you smile whenever you think of me

Am I qualified to chew along to your favorite song since I dont know the lyrics

Am I qualified to be stupid for you

Am I qualified to be your personal ”ashewo”

Am I qualified to be given your love

Am I qualified to call you ”a mumu” , ” ode”, ”oniranu”… without you pressing ”P”

Am I qualified to show you love in the most weirdest of ways

Am I qualified to be ”that guy” you talk about with your friends… Not the asshole though

Am I qualified to be your umbrella when it rains

Am I qualified to be your boo baby while you are my baby boo

Am I qualified to call you a ”yeye girl”

Am I qualified…

Am I qualified to love you

Believe to Achieve


Some days, I am depressed, angry at myself and everyone, thinking why it aint yet better and I ask myself…

Do you stop believing in the moon when the sun comes up

Do you stop believing in the sun when the cloud covers it

Do you stop believing morning shall come when its night

Do you stop believing afternoon shall come when its morning

Trees never stop believing rain shall come soon

The birds have no idea how the day will be, they fly farther compared to the previous day.

All because they believe.

Even if there is a cloud over your aspirations… Never stop believing in yourself.

Look around you, look beyond what you see, therein you shall find hope.

If you want to build a mansion start by picking a shovel today

If you want to be the greatest writer in history, pick a pen and a book, write a word today.

If you want to… Just do it.

Life will always force you to accept its offering, you have to fight to get what you want from it.

Pull your sword, put up your shield, stand firm because you are an Achilles on the battle field of troy.

Sometimes you will shoot for the skies but still find yourself on the ground, its no time to quit because you believe.

Sometimes you are tired, emotionally disturbed and it seems there is nothing to hold on to, remember…

If all MEN were made in the image of God, then there is a God in you… After-all it took HIM more than a day to create the world. That is your hope. Believe

Be patient… Seek for Knowledge… Be Positive… Work hard… Have the right attitude…

Most importantly, Believe.

Believe to Achieve.


This note was inspired by the dreams, commitments and hard-work of thousands of young people all around the world that have dedicated their lives into making the world a better place by ensuring world peace through effective leadership and cultural understanding.

They call themselves AIESECers, ladies and gentlemen of passion and vision with the aspiration of touching the lives of every young person in the world.

Thank you for contributing your quota into making the world a better place.

Dear Ex-Lover(s)

I hope you get soaked by rain while attending your next business meeting… You’ll still be on time.
I hope you get stranded on 3rd mainland bridge with no cash and battery flat.
I hope your heels gets broken while ”raking” at a junior staff.
:p :p :p


tongue out

I promise to stop chasing your shadow in my dreams

I promise to stop bringing up your name in every conversation

I promise to finally accept that God believes in second chances

I promise to finally be honest about what I feel about you… So, here goes:
I hope you hit the big toe of your right foot against a huge stone and I hope it hurts! A LOT!
I hope someone farts in an elevator just before you get on
I hope your hair starts to fall out, not all at once so you’d notice but slowly, so that by the time you’re 50, it will all be gone
I hope your next girlfriend is ugly. Oh no, I don’t mean that or do I? No, maybe… okay definitely not as beautiful as me though
I hope you get food poisoning and spend your entire birthday in the toilet…

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How I Miss You

ImageSometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I am over you but really I am thinking come lay by me, when next would I get my regular gift from you, hold me tight and keep me away from insanity of the world.

No one to call me ‘’Yesufu’’, the name I frowned at every time you call me by it.

No one to report me every time we had people over.

When you left, you made me cry blaming myself for everything. Maybe I should have called you more often, maybe I should have sent you flowers every Wednesday just because its Wednesday, maybe I should have held your hands every minute, maybe I should have visited you more often, maybe I should have loved you a little bit more, maybe I should have…

 That is all gone now because you are far away… but you will forever remain a part of me.

[ Long pause… ] I wish I could have back my big birds.

In Loving memories of my Grandmas ”mama Ijebu” and ”Iya Eleja”.

Inspired by the thoughts of my ex-girlfriend with whom I had so much laughs and fights. You showed me love even if it was in the ‘‘weirdest’ of ways but its fine because weird is good and I love weird.

 If only you had stayed a lil much longer we might have solved the problem that you thought existed. I never had regrets not even for a second. I hope he loves you as much as I do.

Lastly, leaving was your loss.

PS: If you still don’t love him/her it means you were never in love.

See My Africa

If you don’t know us, we don’t know you… If you don’t respect us, you deserve none. We are Nigerians and Proudly Africans.

15mins in Heaven


It is the Monday morning of 13th Feb. 2015, or the eve of St. Valentine.

Time to re-frame and renew lies boys and girls tell themselves, time for love birds to appreciate the bond that has kept them together, time to show that special someone how much you love him/her, time for kings and queens of heart breaks to shatter dreams and for some it is just a day to get laid cheaply.

Whichever category you find yourself, I can only wish you the best of luck…

Let me warn you, this note is not about the deceit of the so called lovers day but the multiple erection that is about to take the day by surprise.

Men lie… Women lie… It’s the reason we have a balance in the world. End of story.

It was indeed a long and peaceful night, waking up in my brief and of course with an hard-on which was only natural right?

It must have been carved out of the historic olumo rock, it seem they both share the attribute rock-hard.

The smell of the early morning was different to me, can it be the sexual urge or just because I woke up beside the most gorgeous lady in the world, this is “no wash”. A greek queen once boasted that her daughter was more beautiful than the nymph-daughters of the sea god and was punished for it, let the god and goddess know that they have nothing on me… Bring me the sea monster -croc and I shall bury my sword deep into its skull and theirs. They have been warned!

My white brief matches hers; whatever she was thinking wearing mine just earned her a bonus weekend head. This is not to say that I will be in her lingerie anytime soon except if the offer comes with 7 days and 7 nights of at least 15mins blow-job… nothing really goes for nothing.

For few minutes I stared at her beautiful innocent face, nose so cute, her lips pulling me closer, for I which I eventually fell. Whilst I stared at her, I ran my hands through her hair gently, she snuggled resting her face on my arm, I leaned to kiss her on the head, she smiled, wearing the expression give me some sugar darling. In my mind I’m saying there is more from where that came from, I kissed her on the nose, she smiled again, this time it was brighter. She adjusted her sleeping position by laying on her back waiting for me to bring the message of the heavens as she wore that I am all yours kind of smile. I moved closer, pressing my lips softly against hers, she immediately returned the gesture even more, for 30secs straight our lips were locked together. She opened her eyes, reached for my right ear and whispered good morning Sam as she kissed it. She knows me too well, I became weak, at this point if she had asked for the earth, I probably would have giving her the universe and my heart yanked out.

I knew what was about to go down, I could tell from her expression and premise.

Few days ago, we were invited to a colleague’s birthday party, to cut to the chase, she raped me, though it was the good rape. Whilst the eating and drinking went on downstairs, we played the music from a corner upstairs. If the guests enjoyed it, I am not sure, but I think a few wish they were the ones banging on the door with such a sonorous voice as the bass gave it a warm rhythm to the ears.

The height of the evening was when the celebrant’s son whom is my god-son winked at me… the 10 years old boy winked! His mom looked at me with the kinda ”we are in trouble, what kinda god-father do we have here”.  And I returned with the smile ”oh yea! you are in trouble but not in as much trouble I am going to be if I have a daughter”. That was just by the way, back to the story gangan

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